W.A.I.T.

As I stumble along on spiritual paths, I have discovered some particularly difficult terrain, the hardest of which is kindness. Lately I have found another that is tough going. This is the path of silence. A common joke among my friends has to do with the results of my Ancestry DNA test – I am 100% Irish. Herein lies the rub of the W.A.I.T. acronym that stands for a very important question: Why Am I Talking.

I think the Irish do not possess this filter, the ability to pause and ask that question. For this Paddy, conversation and verbal pyrotechnics are a pure pleasure and considering the effect of some locutions occurs, if at all, well after the unforeseen effects. If Euripides was right that, “the good and the wise lead quiet lives,” my life is often, neither. The Buddhist eightfold path requires “right speech,” the ability to consider the effect of pronouncements before they are said and not just the enjoyment of how well and deftly they are pushed into the world.

I have never found the joy that is said to be found in silence.

Admittedly, I had a poor start as I sat at a large dinner table full of Irish people throughout my youth. “Conversation” consisted of aggressive – and often eloquent – verbal assaults and flights of fancy that made little effort to consider the effects the verbal assaults might have. The important thing was to speak well and with conviction, with no concern about the feelings of others.

I do know the value of silence on a purely intellectual level. I know that Cato was right when he said, ” I think the first virtue is to restrain the tongue. He approaches nearest to the gods who knows how to be silent.” Knowing is not doing. I still love the verbal romp that considers only style.

I will now try to enfranchise the W.A.I.T. principle. The world deserves some right speech from me and I hope that the repeated use of the filter will help me be more considerate of others. This must be done by those who are schooled in goodness.

It is possible that a new love of silence will nourish wisdom. Perhaps I will – someday – follow Ghandi’s good sense…”speak only if it improves the silence.”