Say Cheese

The other day my wife and I were joined by fellow Gang of Eight members to take on a five mile walk around a local lake. A quick inventory of the participants yielded a litany of medical conditions that were natural to our aging. We had bad backs, knees, osteoporosis and many other conditions that were a challenge to performance. We had all been victimized by the, “whips and scorns of time.” We soldiered on with the stoic acceptance that we had learned over the years but our little pains and discomforts forced us to grapple with how things used to be. In earlier years my wife was a marathoner who regularly did 20 mile training runs and our partners had stories of mega hikes and physical prowess that were now a part of the past. I did half marathons but this five mile test was a daunting one. WE ARE GETTING OLD.

Lately, we have gotten many stories of our friends packing up and “moving closer to the kids.” Strange medical reports are showing conditions that were unexpected and unwelcome. It seems that the questions of our youth (what are we doing today?) have morphed into assessments of our ability to do some basic things. Do we dare to eat a peach? Everyone who is fortunate enough gets to age, but it is a challenge that we are unprepared for. Few stages of life get more attention than aging. Hallmark Cards are everywhere reminding us that we are not getting old …we are becoming classics. Assertions such as, “age is just a number’ and many other platitudes are paraded before us to interdict our slide into depression. We are counseled to fight the tendency to catalog all that we have lost over time.

As always, I seek the wisdom of others to help me navigate this time of shocking change. I want to believe the words of Spanish/Mexican filmmaker Luis Bunuel who quipped, “age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” About halfway around that lake I was a 185 pound chunk of cheddar. The pains in my back and calf muscles were definitely the sharp smells of a cheese left too long in the sun.

But it’s not always like that.

Sometimes, I can truly see the beauty of aging. Freedom increases and the rage to be appropriate wanes…if I want to wear gaudy socks, call out crazy, or stay in my pajamas all day, my age allows me to carry on with almost anything that makes me happy. I am called sir by the twenty somethings in stores and I even get a discount on frozen yogurt. Wisdom accrues in proportion to time served. On a higher level, I get to be an influence on younger people in my world. If they don’t actually listen to me they are kind enough to act like my advice is useful and-at times-compelling.

My most important goal is to adapt and and continue on… to be able to say the words of Frank Lloyd Wright: “the longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. “