Bedding Barometer

Human beings love to measure things. From Noah and his cubits to the New York Stock Exchange we crave the sense of certainty that comes with a really good set of quantifications. The lengths, depths and breadths of things help us feel a bit more certain about things. This is how I found the Bedding Barometer. Lately, in 92128, sleep and its implications has come to the center of life’s concerns and the retail bedding industry has its own measuring device for retail trends and customer preferences. A solid half of the Gang of Eight are currently in the fight for a better mattress and a better sleep.

The industry has its own set of formulas and calculations that serve to explain mattress firmness, blanket weight and sheet thread count. Apparently-as we age- sleep and its accoutrements have become a complex engineering problem. Many Lil Abners are running around testing mattresses, thumbing duvet covers and fluffing pillows. What used to be a simple exercise of flopping down on almost any surface and grabbing forty winks has morphed into a maze of decisions and experimentation. Should one buy a Queen a King or the ridiculously self indulgent California King? Is Egyptian cotton the best? Which is better the 12 or 20 pound weighted blanket? The mind boggles.

Of course, age is a factor, as we must soothe our aging backs and correct the slight dysplasia that we now have in our hips. Sleep has become a “life style” concern. The functional must be in harmony with aesthetics and the choice between goose or eider looms. Some mattresses are so big that we must call on our friends for help transporting the pillowed platform into the house and then to the bed frame that is so stylish. Needles fly as we decide the best way to knit the travelled sleeve of care.

All of this is another victory for capitalism. Mattresses can exceed $5,000 and sheets -and other fittings- can cost as much. We are juicing up the Bedding Barometer.

The Bard once observed that: “(sleep) is the main course in life’s feast and the most nourishing,” so why not get the finest china and silver for the event? We are creating an environment not furnishing a room.

It is not absurd to think that wars are won and lost due to a poor sleep. The Gang has much to say about sleep these days and it is perfectly fitting. It goes with the other things that become important as you grow old. Aquinas said it best: ” sorrow can be alleviated by a good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine ”

The Gang of Eight knows a good vintage, a good soak and an expensive bed are all related and vitally necessary if one wishes to prosper. I am waiting for the phone to ring so I can be recruited for the next mattress move.

Sleep tight .