No Separation

92128 is soon to lose a very fine man.

We spent most of the day with a neighbor family on death watch at a local ICU. Our 88 year old neighbor had suffered a catastrophic brain bleed event and spent many hours clinging to life. Conflicting feelings were everywhere and dramatically expressed by grand child, son, daughter, son in law and wife… and us , the near neighbors. The main conflicts centered on the clash of gratitude for his full and well-lived life in conflict with a tragic sense of loss.

The man in the bed had been a soldier, a pilot, a communications worker, a homebuilder, a father, a grandfather and a husband for nearly nine decades and no one there wanted him to stop being. No one but nature herself. We owe god a death as we were told in Henry IV and when payday comes happiness diminishes so much that we can barely see any good in it.

We do well to remember at these times, that spirits live forever. As long as we remember and celebrate the soul of someone, they live. I told the man’s son that he will talk to his father after his passing as much or more than he’d did when he sat in the same room with him. In short, his father has not left him and he never would. So my friend will be with me till the end of my days and every time I tell a story about him he will be present.

The great poet of the soul-Rumi- put it perfectly when he wrote, “Goodbyes are are only for those that love with their eyes. Because for those that love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” As the family copes with the grief that comes naturally at these times, perhaps they will find consolation from the little voice in their ears that they have heard so often.

They will move from the love that requires eyes-on presence to a deeper place. We will miss him intensely for a while and he will come back to tell us everything is alright.

Until that day, farewell my friend.