Let It Rain

I listened for more than an hour to a friend who rolled out a huge carpet of anxiety, grievance and fear . This was not a mere jeremiad but a sharing of multiple anxieties that were so powerful that his health – his survival-seemed to be at stake. Made me think that there is no state more universal among humans as anxiety. Plato once observed that, “nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.” Sounds good, but anxiety is a constant companion of most of us.

When you try to understand the etiology of anxiety you are confronted with the fact that its causality is both multiple and nuanced. Trauma, relationship difficulties, economic downturns, health conditions, and genetics are all contributors. It seems impossible to escape anxiety and even harder to “cure” it when it occurs. The good news is that there are adaptations that make anxiety bearable.

Perhaps the crudest attempts to damp down the generalized, low grade fears that haunt us have to do with medications. Anti-depressants and anti -psychotics are readily available as are the cruder options of narcotics and booze. This is not a likely solution that will give relief for many years. Gentler techniques are available. When my ballplayers were frozen in fear by the randomness of a game’s outcomes and the pressure to perform, our coaches taught techniques that help with achieving a calm focus. Many of the applications seem so basic that they seem infantile. Strangely, they all worked for a variety of people in a variety of circumstances.

Here are some of the things we shared:

1) the 3/3/3 RULE – This was simple …look around the stadium and consciously name 3 things…identify three odors in the environment (hot dogs, sweat, cut grass ) …move three body parts (fingers, toes, arm). Remarkably, the effect was calming.

2) COMBAT BREATHING – The suggestion was to take three breaths with a 9 second inhale and a 9 second exhale… this will lower the heart rate every time.

3) POINT FIXING (not the betting kind) We suggested finding a point in the stadium and fixing attention upon it for 15 seconds. Having found your point of focus, return to it when things get dicey.

4) MEDITATION – l loved it when an opposing coach looked into our bullpen and saw the day’s pitchers sitting quietly with eyes closed occasionally changing grips on a ball they held in their hands.

5) VISUALIZATION – Most are familiar with the technique of visualizing performance need and desired outcomes.

6) RITUAL – Simply repeating certain movements time after time can moderate fear.

We can not live in an anxiety free world without randomness, bad outcomes and many other terrors that loom, but there are tools to adapt to the uncertainty. Like all adaptations some are healthy and some are not but freezing in place is not the only option.

Finally, my friend was done with his talk and asked me for advice. I shared a quote from the poet Longfellow…”The best thing to do when it is raining, is to let it rain.”

The storm will pass.