Nature

A recent extended stay at a mountain lake in Washington State prompts a long meditation on nature. Thoreau reminds me to, “resign yourself to the influence of the earth” and as I try to follow that advice certain windows into human nature open. It seems that we wish to be one with the natural world but we actually are conflicted by the whole experience. Certain people have found harmony in nature and I seem to remain in constant counterpoint…I am both fascinated and repelled, peaceful and at war.

Humans have often been accused of fearing change but I think we actually have a rage for it . We throw stones into placid waters, remove straight sticks from their natural places for hiking support and gather driftwood to build structures on otherwise pristine beaches. To our credit – and shame – we are never happy leaving things as they are. We create right angles in a world that is random and ramiform. Interbeing eludes us in the play of predator and prey. When we seek harmony we often find dissonance.

I am truly envious of the Thoreaus, Muirs and Dillards who hear only the beautiful harmony of nature. I am painfully aware of the bites and sticky things that await in the wilderness. It is hard to abide in a glen buzzing with insects that want to suck your blood. On the other hand, I am aware of the mountains majesty and the perfection of a cool breeze coming off an ice-fed river…counterpoint.

I guess I am what Thoreau called a “Moss Trooper,” a weekender, not a through hiker. For me, nature is like many a European city… a great place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there. I am not cool when it comes to the outdoors and I have let my REI membership lapse. I have never rhapsodized about a hike up a 5,000 foot peak or its gain per mile, its degree of difficulty.

Yes, I am conflicted and I see no way out of it. On that note I’ll finish this blog because I need to look at my Ansel Adams book of photographs of El Capitan and plug in the bug zapper.