The Gang of Eight has started a new tradition in response to social distancing. At 5:00 pm every day the gang members sit before their computers for a ” virtual cocktail hour.” Today was the beginning of week three and it started me noodling about the qualities and factors that make a good conversation. Most of the gang would agree with the Marquis de Sade that, ” conversation, like certain portions of the anatomy, always runs more smoothly when lubricated.” The session begins with the hoisting of glasses and the lack of the traditional clink that comes from crystal tapping together is not missed at all.
As the conversation develops the qualities that are essential to the exercise become manifest. Ideas lead the way and politics, history and philosophy make brief appearances. Personal revelations, both factual and emotional are shared as the experiences of each family and friends are shared. Humor is always present as puns, put-downs and jokes are launched into the cyber stream. The jokes often take the form of good natured ribbing, plays on words and dopey facial expressions appear.
Good listeners are present, too. There is patience with whatever one wants to talk about…no matter how pedestrian or incidental. Often, I will test the patience of the gang with a flurry of factoids that might include etymology or obscure historical anecdotes. In a display of tolerance only a few of the participants put their fingers down their throats.
The whole exercise happens in a safe space between people who have regard for each other and as we search for connection in the time of distancing the Happy Hour is something to look forward to. Perhaps the best thing about it is that fact that it has no designed purpose other that teasing the time away.
As the days of apartness mount, good conversation will mean more and more to us. It is easy time and it is sustaining. It is also a release of stress and anxiety. As Mark Twain once advised, ” let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.” Call the people you love the most and have one of these unbounded conversations. It will do everyone good.
Cheers
Olio Folio 