These days the things we can do for amusement have been pared to the minimum. Given our condition, I did two things today: a long walk and closet organization. As I shuffled piles of tees and polos, some insights accrued.
First, I have rigorous standards when it comes to these rather mundane items of clothing. First, I realized the polo is the shirt of THE MAN. The polo has a long history and it resides in the area of elitism. Sartorial enthusiasts believe that the polo was originally discovered in the West by the British Raj in 19th century India when English military men discovered the unique cut and color of the garment and took it home with them. In short order, Mr. John E Brooks ( yes a real Brooks Brother) brought the shirt to America. Fast forward to the Western Hemisphere, where Argentinian polo star, Lewis Lacey had the inspiration to put a logo depicting a mounted polo player on the breast. We were off and running to 1933 when Jean Renee Lacoste, a French tennis star, known as Le Crocodile added his signature symbol to the garment. Finally, in 1967 Ralph Lauren marketed the shirt as the symbol of affluence and style.
As a young man I was asked to leave a golf course because I did not wear a shirt with a collar (polo) and any shirt that aspires to affluence must be rejected. Moreover there are polo protocols. A polo must always have one or two buttons open… one never buttons the top button under any circumstances. It’s as bad as putting ketchup on a hot dog if your over the age of eight. Too prissy and too preppy. Now that I am old I have a few that I use as a disguise.
Now, about the tees….I do not buy corporate tees that carry the logos of corporations or Major Leagues sports teams. My tees are in the following categories:
Causes: charity runs, minor league baseball (I want the teams to succeed) political positions
Memories: concerts, nationals parks, coffee houses etc.
Tec Fabric shirts; for the gym or the road.
Other shirts are ruthlessly removed from the rotation.
In 92128, our walking has sky rocketed due to social distancing and I have encountered many examples of why the slogan tee should be avoided. Here are some I have seen lately:
Focus On Your Own Shit
I’m A Virgin. This Is an Old Shirt
I Know Your Password
Dancing In The World Alone
Tee shirts are a way to take on everything from adolescent sex to existential matters; I even saw a dog sporting a tee shirt that offered: I Can Fart And Walk Away What Is Your Superpower?
When Simon and Garfunkel told us , “the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and and in tenement halls, ” they overlooked the power of the tee shirt. I agree with Abe Lincoln’s observation that, “The problem with quotes on clothes is that you can never know if they are true.”
Tomorrow I’ll start on the pants.
o
Olio Folio 