The other night the gang of friends shared war stories over drinks. While 92128 appears tranquil at first sight, further inspection reveals a bloody battle of epic construction and proportion. An infiltration is underway…. and the enemy is cunning, numerous and relentless. Chicago is recognized as the city that suffers the most from the combat with the interlopers but 92128 sees its fair share of action. The collective noun that describes the enemy is “mischief” but this word is too tame to describe the disgusting beast that seeks to invade us. There are browns, blacks, Norwegians and Polynesians. They can eat anything, survive anywhere and they rarely rest…formidable foes.
The menace is real and the encounters are many. It’s hard not to respect them a bit, since so many have given their lives to help create safe cosmetics and they are even capable of metacognition…a thing that apparently escapes many humans. Perhaps we despise the lowly rat because they are so much like us. They are aggressive, ingenious and adaptable. Fellow omnivores, they can survive almost anywhere.
We want to eradicate them and will-sometimes literally- shoot on sight. Musophobia is by no means rare. The stories we shared were as dire as those from any war zone. We discussed killing hardware from pellet guns to camp shovels. Poisons and traps were discussed tactically and strategically. There was even a story about body bags being carried from the field of battle.
You might relocate a captured squirrel or a cornered raccoon but the when it comes to rats no prisoners are taken -no quarter is given. The current record for any single warrior is 89 KIA. Killing 89 rats on a single property can only be described as a bloodbath. More common is the single encounter and then things become hand to hand. It’s gritty, indeed.
As we told our tales of battle, the enemy had penetrated the perimeter. Three rats were sited. The war will go on.
Olio Folio 